There’s no relationship made in heaven. If anything, we owe it to ourselves to make every new partnership successful, including those from the best dating sites. But how do you know when a relationship is broken from the inside? While we are accustomed to the familiar catchphrases such as; relationships are hard work, it’s important to recognize when the rough patches are potential warning signs of a toxic relationship. Unfortunately, most people are naïve and find it challenging to identify a toxic relationship or abuse. In this article, we help you understand what toxic relationship traits are and everything you need to know about toxic relationships vs. healthy relationships.
1. Controlling Nature
A healthy relationship requires autonomy and absolute control over your identity and self-worth. However, when your partner becomes a control freak and wants to impose everything on you, it’s a clear sign that everything is not how it ought to be. Ideally, any attempt of someone wanting to control you is a sign of being toxic and may eventually lead to other forms of abuse.
Controlling behavior is often an indication that your partner is opposed to your individuality. It comes in many ways, such as controlling your beliefs, dictating how you dress, and setting all the terms and conditions in the relationship. While some of these may happen as a friendly suggestion, a complete takeover of your identity is one way to know if you’re in a toxic relationship.
Trust is a critical foundation for building a healthy and successful relationship. But if your partner can’t trust you and occasionally look for a loophole to accuse you of something, you need toxic relationship advice. This is important because lack of trust can take both of you down to the wire, leading to unhealthy and toxic conflicts.
One of the reasons for this mistrust-driven toxic partnership could be the lack of security and stability you once enjoyed at the onset. Luckily, you can fix such a toxic relationship through proper counseling. Additionally, you can opt to work it out in everyone’s best interest and restore the lost sense of security.
3. Hostile and Toxic Communication
Communication is a factor in every thriving relationship. This explains why facts about toxic relationships highlight it as a critical indicator of a healthy or toxic relationship. The truth is, hostile and toxic communication breeds tension and fear in any union. If left unmanaged, it may lay the ground for toxic relationships and mental health problems.
For instance, if most of your conversations are characterized by blatant hostility towards each other, you need to work things out. Failure to address this means you’ll start avoiding talking to each other and further aggravate the toxicity. Healthy relationships flourish because they give a chance to open communication and divergent views. Anything short of this means you have a toxic connection.
4. Inappropriate Overreactions
As humans, it is okay to feel angry and react in a way that makes us feel better. However, there are healthier ways to express that anger without hurting your partner. And while we all yearn for understanding in every action we take, relationships need to make us feel safe and emotionally healthy.
For instance, trying to appease anger on your partner is entirely unfair and indicates a toxic relationship. Relationships are meant to be helpful towards our overall wellbeing, and everyone in it deserves fair treatment. That’s why your partner needs to have healthy ways of releasing anger and aggression to avoid exposing you to a toxic partnership.
5. Constant Blaming
Blaming is a common manipulation tactic in many toxic relationships. If you have a partner who can’t bear the brunt for their actions, blaming and shaming becomes the scapegoat to assuage their toxic ego. This is a frustrating trait, and unfortunately, toxic people use it as a ploy to make their partners feel guilty and ashamed. This explains why leaving a toxic relationship is so hard, especially if your partner is overly cunning with their blame games.
Mostly, when your partner displaces their problems onto you, they could be the main reason for that problem. While this is a problem that requires equal input, you can always find proper emotional support through reading toxic relationship quotes and finding other ways to rediscover your self-worth. This will help you understand why you don’t need to feel guilt for someone else’s fault.
6. Holding the Relationship Captive
You could also be in a toxic relationship if your partner frequently threatens their commitment. This is especially common if you have a toxic partner who can’t accommodate your imperfections. In that case, they resort to inducing fear and making you feel like you owe them absolute loyalty.
Holding a relationship hostage on any account amounts to emotional blackmail and a high level of toxicity. A healthy relationship doesn’t have to be controlled by one partner’s feelings and emotions. Better yet, your partner needs to understand how to express their thoughts and feelings safely without threatening their commitment to the relationship. And even though this toxic relationship can be saved if you work things out, you need to take action before it’s late.
7. Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is one of the common signs of toxic relationships nowadays. Experts warn that this type of toxic partnership is dangerous, and you don’t have to endure any physical harm in the name of love or commitment. The fact is, you can still be angry without physically assaulting each other.
So, there’s no justification for your partner to lay their hand on you even if you offend them. If anything, a relationship that makes you fear for your safety and physical health is toxic. That’s why you should always be on the lookout for the best ways to salvage it before everything gets out of touch. Luckily, abusive and toxic relationships can get better if you reach out for help early. However, always ensure your safety first before going for any alternatives.
Contrary to what many think, over-dependence is a common trait of a toxic relationship that’s hard to notice. Here, your partner may choose to assume a passive demeanor that allows you to make most decisions. The goal is to make you virtually responsible for everything without much of their involvement. This makes you the sole bearer of the blame in case something bad comes out of your decisions.
You need to understand that being passive and over-dependent is a powerful and toxic means of control from most people today. This type of toxic relationship can only change if you identify the root cause of the overdependence. Failure to address the problem early will leave you drained and in constant anxiety and emotional fatigue. It may even culminate in mental health issues that’ll further ruin the relationship.
Jealousy is a natural feeling in virtually all romantic relationships. However, an uncontrolled and excessive amount of jealousy is a sign of a toxic relationship. As partners, you need to develop a healthy way of living where you’re all comfortable with each other’s actions and achievements. Additionally, healthy relationships require trust, while jealousy implies a lack of it.
One of the frustrating parts is when your partner doesn’t allow you space to be yourself. Constantly monitoring your whereabouts and too much obsession is an indication of toxicity that will threaten the foundations holding you together. Usually, a healthy relationship requires one to love themselves first. And if your partner can’t think or feel positively about their wellbeing, they are ideally toxic to you.
10. Imbalance of Power in the Relationship
A healthy relationship requires partners to have an equal balance of power in everything they do. This ranges from the power to make decisions and anything else that involves the relationship. While partnerships are built on different foundations, you could be in a toxic one if there’s no precise balance of power.
For instance, if your partner sets all the rules and requires you to follow them without objection, you’re powerless against them. Furthermore, asking for permission before you do anything is also a sign that you have no voice in that relationship. However, the good news is that you can make such a toxic relationship even better by setting the rules of engagement and safeguarding it with enough trust.
Toxic relationships are usually the worst partnerships you can ever experience. They can put your entire life on hold if you can’t identify the signs early enough. If you are in a relationship exhibiting the signs listed above, you can still make it better. However, always ensure you open to your partner first before seeking any help from the outside.
What is your worst experience in a toxic relationship? Let us know in the comments below.